Cognitive Distortions & How To Manage Them
WHAT ARE 'COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS'?
Cognitive Distortions are also known as 'Unhelpful Thinking Styles' or 'Thinking Traps', are extremely common and we all (every single one of us) experience them from time to time. They are thoughts that occur when our brains interpret what's going on around us in some sort of distorted or exaggerated way.
Our brains are built to search for patterns, stories, filters, reasons to make sense of our everyday world and also to scan for negative aspects of our environment - survival tools since the beginning of time. Most often, our brains predict and translate thoughts with a decent amount of accuracy... but often they are off target somewhat and our thoughts become distorted from reality or rationality. (A useful phrase to remember is "Our brains are wired for survival, not for accuracy."). So... what can we do instead?
This is where meta-cognition (meta-awareness) steps in... a distinctly human ability. Meta-cognition means we can think about the way we think, be aware of how we are aware. This is key to managing Cognitive Distortions - we can build the ability to pause and recognize when we are engaging in distorted or unhelpful thinking. Then, we're able to identify how to shift those thoughts. Ideally, we're compassionate and gentle with ourselves when we realize distorted thoughts are popping up in our minds... and then are able to kindly and rationally shift them to more helpful coping and thinking.
TYPES OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS:
1. ALL OR NOTHING THINKING - Also known as 'black & white' thinking or polarized thinking. Occurs when you see things as either/or, 'must be this way or that way' and struggle to find middle ground or 'gray areas'.
2. CATASTROPHIZING / MINIMIZING - Expecting the worst, blowing things out of proportion... or denying there is a problem when there is; exaggerating severity or inappropriately shrinking the importance of things.
3. 'SHOULD STATEMENTS' - Attempting to motivate self/others with 'should' thoughts; when directed at self, the emotional consequence is guilt and when directed at others, we feel angry and resentful.
4. LABELING - You attach a negative label to yourself or others, often overly broad and focused on character rather than behaviors.
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS - Interpreting things (usually negatively) when there is no evidence to support your conclusion.
6. OVER-GENERALIZING - Using words like "always", "never", "nothing" to make broad and sweeping statements on specific situations; seeing a constant negative pattern based on one event.
7. MAGICAL THINKING - You think everything will be better when _____ (you're thinner, smarter, richer, get a new job, etc.)
8. EMOTIONAL REASONING - You think (assume) your feelings and thoughts are reality; thoughts and feelings are thoughts and feelings - not necessarily reality.
9. PERSONALIZATION & BLAME - You hold yourself responsible for events that were entirely or partially out of your control; or you blame others for your circumstances.
10. DISCOUNTING THE POSITIVE / NEGATIVITY BIAS - You notice all the negatives but fail to see the positives; you acknowledge the positive and then reject it.
11. MIND READING - You make assumptions about what others are thinking.
12. FALLACY OF FAIRNESS - You think things should work out according to what you think is fair.
13. DOUBLE STANDARD - You hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else.
WAYS TO CHALLENGE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS OR UNHELPFUL THINKING:
~ ASK YOURSELF:
-What evidence do I have that what I am thinking is actually true?
-Do I know for certain that the worst will happen?
-Is there another possible explanation for that person's behavior that isn't about me?
-Am I confusing a thought with a fact?
-Am I falling into a thinking trap? (ie catastrophizing or overestimating danger)
-What would I tell a friend if he/she had the same thought?
-Am I 100% sure that ________ will happen?
-How many times has ________ happened before?
-Is this a hassle or a horror?
-Is this a possibility or a certainty?
-Is _______ so important that my future depends on it?
-If it did happen, what could I do to cope with it or handle it?
-Am I condemning myself (or another person) as a whole person on the basis of a single event?
-Am I being realistic with my expectations of myself and others based on all the circumstances?
-Am I concentrating on my weakness and forgetting about my strengths?
-Am I blaming myself for something which is not really my fault?
-Am I taking something personally which has little or nothing to do with me?
-Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?
-Am I expecting others to automatically know what I am thinking?
-Am I unrealistically basing my interpretations of life situations and my thoughts based on "what's fair"?
-Do I consistently expect more of others than I do of myself?
~ OTHER CHALLENGING OR REPLACEMENT THOUGHTS:
-Find the middle ground, be okay with the gray area and look for exceptions.
-Brainstorm 3 other explanations (besides you) for why something happened.
-Get all of the facts and don't assume.
-Don't expect people to "know" what you want or wrongly believe you know what others are thinking.
-You cannot control or change other people. You can only control and change yourself and how you react to them.
-Remember that you are not your thoughts and feelings - and that thoughts and feelings are thoughts and feelings... not always facts.
-Make a list of your strengths to counter negative labels you place on yourself.
-Recognize that anxiety and fear exist in the future and the future doesn't exist yet... fear of tomorrow robs us of the day we have today.
-This situation is really difficult but I'll get through it.
-Perfect is unrealistic - doing my best is what matters (whatever that may be in the moment).
Best, Jenn
Reference / Book Recommendation: Feeling Good by David Burns
*The information presented in this blog is intended for general knowledge and use only. It should not take the place of medical, clinical advice or licensed therapy. To find a licensed practitioner in your area, the Psychology Today Directory is an excellent resource.
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